Dear Jayde

Dear Jayde,

When I heard you had taken the time to speak out about Kefling Rights, I knew right away we would be BFFs! Just like me, you care about hot social topics like protecting the rights of keflings, saving the kelp, and supporting National Pretty Princess Day. Ever since I got squooshed through school, I have wanted to make a difference in the world, but what do you do once you've replaced all the light bulbs in your castle with those swirly flourescent things?

Still, I think you'll be relieved to hear how fair kefling life really is!

It's true that Daddy and I don't join in on chopping wood or jabbing at crystals with pole thingies, but Daddy says governating is already a fullish employance. And I can tell you being a princess is a lot harder than it looks. For one thing, making Executive Princess Decisions like what should be the national ice-cream flavor (Butter Pecan!) wears me out as much as chopping wood. For another thing, is it just my imagination, or am I every giant's favorite kefling to kick around? I don't mind all the attention, but my little princessy backside gets sore in a very unprincessy way.

My point is, everyone does their part. Doug and his brothers carry heavy stuff, The Chief stores things in her pants, my Froggy Prince makes poetry with his eyes, and The Witch creeps everyone out. That's hard work and I, for one, give them mad props!

As far as equality goes, I assure you every kefling is equal, especially the cute ones! Each kefling has the same chance to wear clothes stylish enough to get them invited to my parties, and we all take equal turns giving supportive hugs to the kefling that doesn't have a house because you broke it.

Sure, there's room for improvement. Like you, I would like all keflings to have a voice, except when the Effects Volume is turned up too high, 'cause that'd just be annoying. And like you, I think keflings should stop bowing to giants, because come on, the Ring dance is much more adorable.

We must keep pushing forward, dreaming of a brighter future, fighting for a better world, with only occasional breaks to watch the giants play Ratbeard soccer.

Thank you for caring about us, and for being a shining example of my favorite human rights slogan: "One World, Many Malls".

Sincerely,

The Princess (of the Kingdom Without or Possibly With a Castle, Depending On How Far Into The Story You Are)